I lift my hands to believe again

First of all, thank you for all the encouraging messages and all the prayers for our family during this process of adoption. We have had an overwhelming amount of support and love from those around us. Not that criticism would cause us to change our minds or question our decision, but it's encouraging to know that we have people standing with us and praying for us - and our little man who is waiting for us to come and get him.

I titled this post, "I lift my hands to believe again" - because belief is what it's all about for us right now. We got our packet from our agency this past week and of course included in that is the fee schedule. Up until this point, the cost hasn't been an "issue" to me. Sure I knew it was going to be expensive. Sure I knew it was a lot of money. But, it didn't ever really bother me. I just thought, "He has called us and He will provide." And I still think that. However, there's something about seeing that amount on paper, in your hands, black and white, that just makes it so real. It hit home.

I have other friends who are adopting right now, and we have had the conversations about the finances. My one dear friend tells me that it just comes in. God just provides. And I shake my head in agreement. Why, then, when I saw that silly fee schedule, did my anxiety level start to rise?

Lack of Trust. Lack of Faith. Lack of Belief.

That makes me sad just to type that. I trust God - I believe Him and His promises. I know He provides. BUT... the question is: Will He do that for US?

The frustrating part about all of this is that my head says yes. I've seen Him work in our lives and the lives of those around us. I've praised Him for miracles in our life. I've thanked Him for the work He has done. I'm currently thanking Him for what He's doing.

We are about to learn some huge lessons from our very big God.

I sometimes think that here in America we say we believe God but we only really believe Him 75% of the time or 90% of the time. (I'm talking to myself here too!) We have resources at the tips of our fingers so anytime we need anything, we just get it. If we need money for something, we walk over to the bank and take out a loan (I'm not advocating debt and not saying that our family does this, just saying that it happens in our Western culture). If we don't have food in the house, we go out for dinner. If we are sick, we go to the doctor. If we don't like our job or we are discontent with where we are, we get a new job or move to a new place. We have so many resources at our fingertips that we fail to truly seek Him first. I think about the people in other countries. Those that are homeless, those that are sick, those that are destitute. Where do they go when they have no food? What do they do when they are sick? They live in mud shacks or on the streets. They eat scraps of food from the garbage piles (I've seen this with my own eyes - a young girl digging through a garbage dump). These people, who are what we would call "poor", are in actuality so very RICH. Why? Because they truly trust God. They have nothing else but their trust in God. They are content with their circumstances (maybe not "Happy" but content).

I wish that the Western world had their faith. I wish that I had their faith. The kind of faith that surpasses circumstance. The kind of faith that surpasses happiness and contentment.

Over the next few months, we will be sending very large amounts of money to our agency and other government offices for various fees. In fact, in about a month of so we'll be sending in a few thousand dollars. It's no secret that international adoption is very expensive. However, God has called us down this path and that we are 100% sure of. He has called us to take care of the orphan. When He calls us to something, He will provide the way.

My flesh tells me that it would be "so much easier" if we had the funds in hand, all of it, ready to go and ready to send it. That way I would know that it was taken care of and that we were set. However, it's not like that. He's calling us to adoption and calling us to trust Him in providing for every step of the way. I will trust Him in each step. I will trust Him for the full amount.

I keep thinking that if we had all the finances in hand, ready to go, then that wouldn't require faith. It would simply be an act of obedience. We are called to walk by faith, not by sight and not by obedience. I can't see what's ahead of us. I can't see what we will go through to bring our little man home. I can't see now how the finances will come in. But, I will walk by faith, knowing that it will all work out.

Thank You Lord that you are our provider. Lord, that you have called us to the journey of adoption and that You, Lord, will provide for every step along the way. We trust in You and believe You. Thank You that through this our faith will be strengthened. We raise our hands to you knowing that You are God and You are good. We love you, Jesus.

Application = APPROVED!

Here we go... OFFICIALLY!

We have officially been approved to go forward with the steps of adoption through the agency that we desired. I didn't ever really think of not getting accepted but to hear the official word, I have to admit, was pretty exciting.

I absolutely love the coordinator that we will be working with for our particular country. Her heart for the country and knowledge of the customs there is huge. It's encouraging to know that I can absolutely trust her judgement in the process of this adoption. Sometimes when dealing with international adoptions, things that go on can be fishy (depending on what country you are dealing with). I know without a doubt that I can trust our coordinator to be honest and forthcoming with us - every step of the way.

Next step is applying to an agency to have our homestudy done. I have that all ready to go. We just wanted to wait to get the official ok from our agency. Now we send the next application off and hopefully get started on our home study.

Things are moving... even though this process could take 12-18 months or even more, I'm grateful for every step of the way!

Application IN!

We sent in our application fee to our desired agency today! It's such a small step but so exciting. I know we have a L.O.N.G. way to go in this journey but I'm going to celebrate every step of the way.

I had turned in our online application over a week ago. I waited 5 days to hear something back and nothing. I called on last Wednesday to find out if they had gotten our submitted application. Apparently, the agency had been having some computer / network problems and never received our application. So, I resent it that day.

Today I sent in the final application (signed) along with a family picture, tax info, proof of health insurance, and a copy of our marriage certificate! whew!

I love the agency that we have chosen to move forward with. I feel at peace with choosing this particular agency. In the beginning when I was doing research and looking at all different agencies, I had emailed a couple of them with questions. When I emailed this particular agency, the contact for the country we choose got back to us within 4 hours of the email being sent (after work hours). I was impressed not only with her quickness in response but also with the personalization of her email. I felt like I had known her for a long time. She's extremely caring and helpful and has a huge heart for our particular country - which is very important for me. We just have peace about the agency and how it is run. I'm excited to move forward. The other agency that I had emailed didn't get back to me for almost 1 week and their response was a form letter. Definitely wasn't appealing!

Now on to getting our application ready for our homestudy agency. I haven't filled out this much paperwork (and this is ONLY the beginning) since we bought our house. I'm loving every minute of it though because I know in the end we will hopefully be bringing home our little boy.

Plus One, Minus One

Plus ONE Bettinger.

Minus ONE Orphan.

We have decided to start the international adoption process!

AND...

We are ecstatic!

Now, let me back up and give a little background on this HUGE new part of our lives.

I think adoption has always been something that I've thought about since early on in our marriage. We didn't talk about it much more than my casual mention of "it would great to adopt someday." I had no idea what the meant or what it would look like. I was dreaming. Speaking out loud. But not really realizing how much of a passion I would soon acquire for the orphans.

We talked about adoption last summer and even sent away for an information packet. I had met some different families who had adopted and so we started talking about it a little more. Still no big moves.

I'm glad this blog is about our "journey" in getting to this place because I can honestly say that God has done so much in my heart and my family along the way. So many things have just lined up... something that only He can do. Everything from changing hearts to my 5 year old starting "The Love Project" to help orphans in Africa. A 5 year old. Thank you, Lord. (More to come on The Love Project later.)

We led a trip to Ghana, Africa in July / August with our college students and to say it was amazing is an understatement. So many things happened on that trip... change of passions, new love for people, desires to serve overseas, among a long list of other things. One of our experiences was to visit an orphanage in Ghana. The minute we walked in, the children were lifting their arms to be held. They wanted us to show them love. Almost all of them fell asleep in the arms of team members almost instantaneously after being picked up. Oh, the power of someone LOVING on a sweet child. In one sense, it made me miss my children but in another sense it really opened my eyes to their situation. No parents. No family other than maybe a sibling. No love shown to them individually. Sure they are loved on by the staff and volunteers but we all know how that is so much different from being in a family. I'm sure they have no one that goes in late at night to check on them while they are sleeping - just because. Or, what about bedtime prayers. Or just a simple hug accompanied by an "I love you." My heart broke. I wept as we drove away from that orphanage asking God what He wanted me to do. I struggled while we were in Ghana because I wanted to help everyone, to solve all the problems. I know this is unrealistic but driving from the orphanage I was just asking God what He would have me to do. My family. My husband. How could I help the people of Ghana, the orphans, the widows.

After we returned from Ghana, I was ready to go back - like, the day we got home I could've jumped back on an airplane back (if I could take my kids!) My heart was there and my desire to serve the people of Africa was strong... as was Mark's. We struggled when we got home. The week we returned, many things started happening. I was hospitalized as the result of a parasite that I picked up in Ghana, my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer (and joined Jesus 6 weeks later), Mark's father was diagnosed with cancer and many things started happening with Mark's job. It was an attack. A big, spiritual attack. We kept trusting Him and leaning on Him and we had a strong support system with our friends. Because of everything that was going on, adoption and even the thought of returning to Africa was put on hold.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago.

In one weekend, God changed our lives. I went on Friday to meet with a girl who was selling Usborne. I had told her about a few programs that Usborne offered that were great. We got together at the playground and chatted for about an hour and a half. Meanwhile, I learned that she had adopted from Khazikstan. Instantly I felt a bond. Because my heart for adoption is so strong and it is such a desire of mine, I felt instantly connected. The next morning, I met a dear friend who I had only talked to online. Mark and I supported her adoption by purchasing adoption tshirts from her last Fall and so we wanted to get together in person. We shared our hearts and talked about a little bit of everything. I learned some new things about adoption care / orphan ministry (more on that later). It was just awesome. Then, later that afternoon I met for almost 3 hours with a new friend from church who is in the middle of the adoption process. It was so encouraging and inspiring. I left there full of hope and ready to tackle the world (so to speak). That evening, I went with another friend from church, who works for an adoption agency, to an adoption / orphan awareness dinner at a church here in town. It was simple and informative. I took home a lot of literature and met with Mark (he had plans to go to a dinner with some friends). Apparently at that dinner, the pastor of our church said something to Mark that resonated with him. He said "Adoption is the truest form of discipleship."

As I had said, Mark and I had talked about adoption and he wanted to but he just wasn't "ready" yet. There was a lot going on and he just felt like he wasn't ready to take on one more thing... especially knowing how emotional the process could be. Until that next morning...

As we were getting ready for church he walked past me and said, "I'm in!" and walked away. I stopped, turned around and went to ask him what that was all about. He said, "I'm ready to start the process. Start researching and let's go." He said that if we were called to adopt and we could adopt, then why weren't we. Wow, Lord...

Since then, we've applied to an agency and picked a country. We are hoping to bring a little boy home in the next 12-18 months or however long God has our journey lined out to be. Due to restrictions, I can't post the country or our agency on this blog but that doesn't matter anyway. God led us to an agency that I feel is just perfect for us and we are so excited.

I look back at that crazy weekend of meeting with friends and I am just in awe of how God used every one of those people in my life. He has been orchestrating adoption in our hearts from a long time ago. It's amazing to see how all the "little moments" just fall into place and remind me that He is in control and He has this! So many things have been instrumental in our journey and I know that it's something that only He can do.

Mady is super excited. As I mentioned earlier, she is developing a heart for the orphans of this world. She prays for our little guy, wherever he is right now, with such tenderness and sincerity. She gets so excited when she tells our friends that "we are bringing home an orphan." I love seeing her heart for the children "with no mommies or daddies" and I'm excited to see how He continues to work in her heart. What a life experience it will be for her to grow up with this brother. What an amazing world vision she will have, along with Sam and Hannah.

If you could pray for us, we would certainly appreciate it. We have our application sent off to the agency to begin the process. We are just wanting to serve God and serve the orphans. He tells us in His word to care for the weak, the fatherless, the orphans. While I know that not everyone is called to adopt, we are all called to care for those listed above. Our family have answered our call to adopt and we are moving forward with excitement. I know it won't always be an easy road. Things will probably go wrong somewhere and we'll get hung up on something. Things will be emotional. It will be hard. But we are trusting Him and moving forward to be His love to one special orphan boy.

What an incredible privilege it is to be able to live the gospel out first hand... to adopt a special little guy into our family and call him our own - taking care of him and sharing the love of Christ with him... Just as Christ adopted us into His family.

Big news coming SOON!

It's been a LONG time since we updated our blog. However, changes in our lives have warranted the need to start blogging again. This will be one of the main ways that we update friends and family with what is going on in our lives. We are so excited! I'll describe in detail what the title of our blog means to our family, "Plus ONE... Minus ONE."

MORE to come SOON!

First, I need to get my little ones lunch and put them to bed!

Check back SOON!