Updated Jewelry Page

I have recently my jewelry page.  Not everything is listed but the basic styles that I have made are listed.  Again, everything is customizable.  You see something you like, let me know and I'll make it for you!!!!  Let me know if you have ANY questions.  Email jmlbettinger@yahoo.com

I will ship to the U.S.  

If you're on facebook, please visit:

www.facebook.com/PlusOneMinusOneJewelry

and "LIKE" our page!  New updates there as well!

Thanks!!!

Hurry up and ... Wait....

We've been in this adoption process only a few short months (4 to be exact - from time of moving forward with agency applications to now) and I've learned so much.  I always heard that there's lots of "hurry up and wait" times but I always thought "ack, no worries."

Now we are doing some serious waiting and although I'm not at that point where I'm going crazy, I can see how this process is taxing.

Here's what's going on with us:

Our agency reviewed our homestudy a couple of weeks ago (I need to update our "steps of the journey" page on the blog) and thought it looked fine.  There were a few minor typos that were fixed and we were given the green light.  We are officially waiting for our referral and oh how exciting that is.

However, our homestudy was also sent somewhere else and they have required more information on Mark's health.  We had his doctor write a letter and I answered a few questions and the homestudy was to be fixed.  Hopefully it's being sent back to this place here shortly so that we can move forward there.

So, once things look good from there we will still be waiting but at least there will be no other issues for the moment.

Since the beginning we have hurried up and got applications done to be sent in -- then waited to hear approval.  Then we hurried up and filled out paperwork -- then waited for the next step.  Then we hurried up and did our homestudy -- and waited.  I'm learning a lot in these times of waiting.  I think of that John Waller song:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

What a powerful song!  I will still serve Him, worship Him, and run the race even while I'm waiting.  Even though it's hard sometimes (and believe me, we are just at the "beginning" of this process so I may not even have the right to say we have waited long), I still praise Him through this entire process.  I know that His timing is perfect.  His will is perfect.  We will bring our little boy home in His timing and I wouldn't want it any other way!


It's so amazing to sit back and watch Him work in our lives and in the process of this adoption.  He's stretched us during this and will continue to do so.  He's blessed us in ways that I can't even describe.  It's been unbelievable to watch God work.  I'm excited to be going through this process with the most wonderful man ever and I'm excited to see what the future holds!  We give Him all the glory!!!!

Jewelry Shop

If you take a look up at the top of my blog, there's a page called  "Plus One Minus One Jewelry."  I'll be updating it often as I make new necklaces and designs for people.  I have a few projects that are done but I can't post because they are gifts :)

Also, if you find something that you want me to make, let me know... I can customize just about anything.

I will be getting a stamp of the continent of Africa soon! and I'm very excited about that!  Will keep everyone posted!

I've also ordered some hand-crafted Ugandan beads to add to my jewelry!  More on that to come soon! You will not want to miss them!

I stamp on all sizes of discs from 1/2" to 2".  I can make keychains and necklaces... just about anything that you can find hand stamped on etsy, I can make happen!

All proceeds will help fund our adoption! 

Blessings

Life has just been crazy lately, to say the least!  It's been a good past couple of weeks but very busy.  I have thought often of different posts that I wanted to write but time just got away from me.  The most important post that I want to write first is titled "Blessings."

His Blessings have been poured out over our family lately in HUGE ways!  I've laughed at the timing of them, cried because I was overwhelmingly humbled, and over and over have thanked Him for His definite provision.  I remember starting this whole adoption process and being completely overwhelmed by the financial aspect of it.  Paying large chunks of money in short amounts of time was a little nerve racking for me.  I knew He would provide as He had called us to this journey but it was so hard for me to let go of the control that I thought I needed to have.

I continued to think that somehow I could make it happen... and folks, I. JUST. CAN'T!  I can't do anything without Him.  I've been going through a class called The Ultimate Journey (more on that class later) and through it I have learned that I was still trying to control things in my life.  Sure, I had given some things over to Him but there were still things that I just deep down couldn't let go.  I've learned to lay it all at the foot of the cross and surrender to Him.  How freeing that is.

Back to the blessings...

Mark started Moody a week ago.  With starting Moody and also going through an international adoption at the same time, we have been praying for provision.  A couple of days before his class started, he called the financial aid office to see if there were any scholarships available - just "hanging around."  He chatted with the guy for a bit, got put on hold, and then finished the conversation by learning that the guy was just going to award him $750 just because he could.  THANK YOU, Lord!  Then, the morning that his class started, he got an email that he was awarded another scholarship!!!!  He still has a few out that are being looked over so we'll see what is to come.  We were overwhelmed to say the least!

We have had a few different blessings in the adoption arena... It really has been mind-blowing:

Jewelry sales are going great!  I'm working on posting a page at the top of my blog showing different things that I have made.  I love making jewelry for people!

Mark has been doing some various painting jobs for people on the side.  He painted professionally for many years and has his own - on the side - painting business.  He's really quite good!  It's been nice that he's been able to take on a few jobs here and there :)

A little over a week ago a sweet friend of mine randomly set up an online facebook fundraiser for us.  She had various Thirty-One Gift sets that you could purchase and all proceeds went to us to help us bring our little guy home!  I was shocked!  My phone would not to stop beeping because of all of the updates from everyone who purchased!  A dear friend even purchased a gift set and donated it back to me.  Wow.  It was so amazing to watch the body of Christ come together and get excited about supporting our family.  It was so incredibly humbling.  People I didn't even know were supporting us... amazing.

Just this weekend, we were blessed beyond belief.  Some sweet friends of ours handed over a very large donation to our adoption.  I took one look at the check and began to weep.  I was overwhelmed.  God was providing in ways that were unimaginable to me.  He was showing us that He is our provider and that He will take care of us.  He has definitely called us to adoption and I know for a fact that He will provide.  I am so very grateful.  To know that we have our friends (and so many others) who are supporting us and our family through this journey means so much.  They have caught the vision of helping the orphans and the fatherless and it's so incredibly amazing.

I think I've probably said the words "amazing" and "humbling" 1000 times in this post but there are no other words to describe how we feel.  We have been overwhelmed with love and support from friends and even those we didn't know before.

I want to say on behalf of myself and Mark THANK YOU to everyone who has prayed for us, is praying for us, has donated to our adoption, jumped in on the 31 fundraiser,  has bought jewelry, etc!  You have no idea how grateful we are.  To know that we are right where God wants us and to know that we have so much love and support behind is is truly a blessing!

Thank you, Jesus, for your provision!  I know without a doubt that with you all things are possible!

Giveaway Winner....

Congratulations to Katie (entry #5) for winning a copy of The Five Love Languages of Children! You'll love it!!!!

The 5 Love Languages of Children - ABSOLUTELY FANTASTIC GIVEAWAY!!!!

Can I just tell you that I'm SUPER excited to be doing a review and giveaway for THIS AMAZING BOOK! I absolutely loved this book and I'm so excited to be sharing it with you! I think ever single parent needs a copy of The 5 Love Languages of Children by Dr. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell... really, it's that good. I know that the information presented in this book can change the way parents relate to their children. How awesome is that!?!

Now for some info:

The 5 Love Languages of Children: http://www.5lovelanguages.com/resource/the-five-love-languages-of-children

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/5LoveLanguages

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/drgarychapman

"To be their best, children need to feel loved. But if you and your child speak different love languages, your affection might get lost in translation, affecting the child’s attitude, behavior, and development. Dr. Gary Chapman’s groundbreaking Five Love Languages series has helped millions of couples communicate love more clearly, and Dr. Ross Campbell M.D. has applied the innovative system to children as well. The 5 Love Languages of Children gives practical suggestions for learning how your children interpret love and creating a sense of security in which they can thrive."

I will say it again, I LOVED THIS BOOK. Actually, I think of it more as a resource. What great information it has on helping parents to understand the love languages of their children. This is so important to me, as a mom. I want to be able to relate the best way that I can with each of my 3 kiddos - all whom are SO different. Determining their love language, or way that they most receive and give love, is so important because it will help me to better reach inside their little hearts and love them the best way that I can. In the first chapter it says, "So to reach them, you must love on their terms." I love that! We need to figure out how to love on their terms... how to best show love to them in a way that they will receive it best!

My youngest daughter, although only just shy of her 3rd birthday, definitely has a love language of physical touch. Although the book shares that you really can't start to really determine a child's love language until around the age of 5 (because younger children love in all 5 ways all the time), I know my sweet girl has a ton of physical touch in her :) She's the only one who wants to be held and cuddled and hugged and kissed ALL. THE. TIME. Reading this book was fun in that I was able to learn more about how to relate to her through her love language. It was also fun thinking through what my other two sweet kiddos might be strong in. I can't wait until they are a little older to really determine what the predominant love language is... and then to see what comes as the secondary.

I loved many things about this book. The first being that the chapters were broken down by love language : Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service. I am a very visual person, and I love examples and "how-to's" so this book was perfect for me. There were lots of stories to illustrate each love language, and there were many practical points at the end of each chapter of what to do if your child demonstrates a strong language of ______. I love that part because I can look back and get great new ideas on how to show love to my child in his / her particular language. Each chapter also shares things on what might be negative to a child with a particular love language.

Another concept that I love about the book is the idea of your child's love tank being filled. This concept played into many parts of the book ranging from discipline to learning. It was interesting to see the correlation between an "empty tank" and discipline issues or learning problems.

This book is more than just a book to me... it's a resource. I know that all of my highlighting will come in handy over time as I go back through and re-read particular parts. It seems so easy to love our children, right?! Well, it is but we need to remember that our children all give and receive love in different ways. If we can figure out those ways and learn to show love to them in the way that they best receive it, it will be even better!

The last thing that I want to mention (although I could write about the book for an hour) is the game in the back. It's best suited for children 5 and above but it's a great tool for determining your child's primary and secondary language. Make it fun :) Who doesn't want to learn to better love their children!

All in all, I give this book a 10 thumbs up... well, if I had 10 thumbs that is! For now, I'll give it MY TWO! Every parent needs a copy of this book! So.....

One person will be winning a copy at the end of this week!!!!!

All you have to do is leave a comment on this blog and tell me one of the many tangible ways that you show love to your children! Drawing will end on Sunday, April 15th, and the winner will be chosen randomly by random.org on Monday April 16th!!! Here we go....

Required fine print: “Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Giveaway Winner....

Congratulations to Kim!!! Your entry was picked using random.org to win a copy of A Perfect Pet for Peyton! Message me your address and we will get you your copy!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

p.s. I have more giveaways on the horizon so be looking for those :)

How YOU can help!

I've had many people over the last few weeks ask how they can help us with our adoption and be involved. I love that. I love to see people coming together to support one another! It brings joy to my heart!

I wanted to post about the ways that you and your family can help us bring our little guy home from GHANA! (I don't think that I've officially mentioned that we are adopting from Ghana yet, so there it is! I had heard some wrong information that we weren't supposed to list country name but that has been corrected! -- Although I'm sure most of you could have guessed it was Ghana!)

Back to my post...

Most all of you know that adoption. is. expensive. Very. expensive. We acknowledge that and know that God has called us down this road. We also know that because He has made this path of adoption clear to us, He will also provide for us. Now... in walks the hard part for me. I'm a Type A personality... I like to have a schedule, I like to have everything figured out, I like to have all my ducks in a row - not to mention the crazy OCD organization! Needless to say, stepping out in faith with this adoption process is a huge thing for me. He's already taught me so so much and changed me in ways that I am forever grateful but, I need to remember that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! It's not about my timing, my plans, my ideas, and my organization... It's about HIS! I can't plan anything on my own or make it work out on my own. It doesn't work that way! I will choose to put my faith in Him, knowing that He will provide for us and this adoption... in whatever way HE chooses to do that.

With that being said, I'm going to list some ways that you can come along side of us in this journey... The journey to bring our little man home from Ghana.

1. The first way you can help join in on our journey is by PRAYING! Prayer is so important. We need prayer warriors on our side. We need your prayers as we are preparing to bring home Baby Boy Bettinger. It is not an easy journey by any means, but we know that He is faithful and He is preparing the way for us. We appreciate all of your prayers already and we are grateful that we have such a strong support for the future!

2. I'm super excited about this next thing. I've recently started metal stamping and I LOVE IT! I'm currently open for business :) Plus One, Minus One Jewelry! All proceeds go to fund our adoption (does that sound business-y?!)
Yes, I'm doing metal stamping ... Necklaces, Keychains, Bracelets - anything that you could ever want! Here are some pictures of things that I can do:

This is actually the first thing that I ever stamped. I made it for my mom. It says "Carry You Always." It has my grandmother's birthstone on it. It's in remembrance of her as she recently passed away in September.

I do have these rounds with the hearts in the middle and can stamp anything around it... adding any type of charm that you want.

I'm excited to be getting this stamp soon... the AFRICA stamp! They are VERY hard to find and I've got one on order as soon as she releases them. Should only be a week or so. This stamp looks great as well by adding a heart over your favorite country in Africa (I'll be making myself one with a heart over Ghana for sure!)

This is just a great picture to show that just about anything can be stamped and added to make a great necklace! It's also a little hard to see in the picture but I can make the round either concave or convex (curving inward or outward) for style preferences.

A cute picture of an example of children's names. Could also work with adding birth dates. Or doing something fun with a husband's or wife's name. Another great visual for having your children's names on a necklace. LOVE LOVE LOVE this for those adoptive families out there. Or.. just just let people know that you are supporting an adoption.

a great visual for stacking disks on a keychain!

I've seen a lot of these done up... great grandparent gifts. I've also seen them done on "washers" - or a disk with a circle in the middle.

I know that's probably a lot but I wanted to list a few options.

I can do quite a bit... just email me (jmlbettinger@yahoo.com) or Facebook me and we can "chat" about logistics and design. I have an uppercase and lowercase alphabet. I can add charms. I have plain rounds, rounds with hearts, rounds with circles, and keychains.

They make great personal gifts, great gifts for family members... And the best part is that with your purchase you are making a difference.

I would love to work with you! Make sure you tell all of your friends as well!

Prices are between $15 and $22 - depending on how many disks you want and if you want charms.

I look forward to working with YOU! Oh, and I of course can ship jewelry to anywhere!!!

3. The third way that you can help out, if you feel led, is by donating straight to our adoption fund. There's a paypal donate button on the right side of my blog, under the picture of Africa. Feel free to click on that and send a direct payment if you feel the Lord leading you that way. We thank you in advance for any donation that you send, whether $15 or $50.

4. The fourth way you can help is by visiting my sweet friend Adriana's blog and making a purchase. You can read my post here and the story about this amazing girl's BIG heart! Make a purchase from Adriana's blog and she will donate a portion to our adoption! I'm still in awe. We are so thankful, Adriana! Visit her blog / shop!

I can't express what it has meant to have so many friends and family supporting us along this journey thus far. We are currently waiting on our foster licensing to be approved. Because the adoption won't be fully complete in the U.S. when we arrive home, we have to have a foster care license so that we are able to have our little man with us until the adoption is made complete in IL. (It's obviously complete in Ghana when we go through court.) So, we are waiting on that license and then our home study will be ready for review at our agency. At that point, we will send in our next monetary installment along with some more paperwork and the home study. Once our home study is reviewed and approved, we are officially ready to be MATCHED! wahoo! It's a lot... but it's one step at a time.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. Things are moving along and God is in control! I've already seen so many things happen in the process this far that amaze me! God is awesome!

Let's bring home Baby Boy Bettinger!!!!

A Perfect Pet for Peyton - REVIEW & GIVEAWAY!

From time to time I'm going to start doing giveaways on my blog to which I'm very excited about! And, what better way to start off my first giveaway than with an amazing book called A Perfect Pet for Peyton by Rick Osborne & Gary Chapman.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/5LoveLanguages

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/drgarychapman

About A Perfect Pet for Peyton:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/resource/a-perfect-pet-for-peyton/

"This wonderfully imaginative children’s hardcover book by bestselling authors Gary Chapman and Rick Osborne, featuring four-color illustrations (with hidden details!) by Wilson Williams, Jr., will help children learn the importance of love. Based on Gary’s highly successful The 5 Love Languages®, A Perfect Pet for Peyton tells an entertaining and playful story of five children who each, with the help of Mr. Chapman and the unique pets at his special emporium, discover their own personal love language. Children and parents alike will experience firsthand the power of the love languages as they cuddle up and spend precious time together reading this book over and over again."

So, now... the best part... what do I think of this book?

I absolutely, 100%, 2 thumbs up, jumping up and down, LOVED IT!

Gary Chapman (& Rick Osborne) did a wonderful job on this book. Starting with the illustrations (by Wilson Williams Jr.)... The pictures are brightly colored and very engaging. My kiddos loved looking at the pictures. Another thing that I loved about the illustrations were that on some pages you were asked to find certain bugs or pick out certain animals (some fun hidden details!). My littles enjoyed searching the pages for every animal under the sun! Also, the text is FUN. Sporadic words are enlarged and brightly colored making it fun to read through the story.

The story itself is about twins, Penny and Peyton, and their birthday adventure with Mr. Chapman. They get their very own perfect pet at this birthday extravaganza. Through the story, the readers are learning about each child and you start seeing how each child is different. These differences, or love languages, are the way in which children (and adults) give and receive love. By understanding the different love languages and learning by which way your children give and receive love, you learn so much about your children. In the same way this is true of adults as well. Marriages are definitely made stronger by simply know how your spouse receives love. You will be able to better show them love if you know in which way they receive it the best!

Tangent :)

By the end of the story, each child has a special pet to take home. Peyton has a hard time deciding if he wants a special pet but by the end of the story, his pet is obvious! It was exciting for me to read this to my 5 year old who (a) loved the story but (b) was able to learn more about the different love languages. I was able to explain the concept to her and use the book as a teaching aid - because it was easy for her to understand by using the story.

The other thing I love about this book is the quiz at the end. It is a great tool for helping your children to realize their love languages. After reading the story a few times and knowing that they are starting to grasp the differences, you can go through the quiz with them asking the different questions pertaining to each love language. Using this, as well as watching them and listening to them, you'll soon be able to distinguish which language they are more drawn towards and how to better show love to them. I'm excited about using the quiz with my 5 year old... who was already asking after the first time I read it to her, "Mommy, what's my love language?"

The story is engaging and definitely a good read for my kiddos as well as myself. I really enjoyed it. It's a great way to introduce our children to something so important at an early age. I definitely recommend this book and give it the awesome award!

ONE LUCKY PERSON will be able to win a copy of this sweet book, A Perfect Pet for Peyton. Just simply leave a comment on this post... making sure that you leave an email address so that I can contact you. The giveaway will end on Sunday, April 1st. WInner will be chosen on April 2nd, by random.org.

“Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Home Study Visits - check!

Yesterday afternoon we finished our final home study visit. I'm overwhelmed with emotion - excited to be almost finished with this step and anxious to move on to the part where we are matched with our child! Oh, how that day can't come quick enough.

Our second home study visit, last Monday, was all about training. It was about an hour and a half of learning about everything under the sun related to adoption. We got to keep the big book with articles, handouts, and tons of other resources for all things adoption. Even though we went through the booklet quickly, I'll probably sit down here in the next week or so and read through the articles. I love taking in everything that I can right now. It's kind of comparable to when you find out you're pregnant for the first time and so you start reading everything you can starting with "What to expect when you're expecting." (or maybe that was just me!)

Our visit yesterday was interviews. I was so nervous. I dislike answering questions about myself like "Describe your personality" or "what is your greatest strength and weakness." Not my favorite thing to do but we made it! Mark and I both were interviewed individually and Mady was interviewed as well. She told me that she was asked "What do you like to do with mommy" to which her response was "cuddle." When asked "What do you like to do with Daddy?" her response was "Play lion." I love it!

I think the hardest part of the overall home study process was the amount of paperwork that had to be done... criminal checks, fingerprints, fire evacuation plans, health evaluations, autobiographies, birth certificates, marriage license, taxes, and that's just to name a small portion. Our 3 home study visits were laid out over a total of 12 days. To say I was stressed yesterday was an understatement. But, we have everything turned in (minus two sheets that I'm waiting on by email) !!! I'm excited.

Our next step is to wait for some approval from DCFS. Then our home study will be written up, reviewed by us and faxed to our placement agency to make sure that it fits with their requirements. After that, we start working with our placement agency - sending them another big packet of paperwork and a big chunk of money. Then we wait for referral!

I've been told this before but this whole process of adoption is really a "hurry up and then wait" process. We hurry up and get everything that we need and sent in and then we wait.... then we hurry up and do something else and then wait... Although at times I get anxious I know that I need His patience to keep me going. I need to be content with the circumstances. I know that everything happens in God's timing... and on His terms! So, for that I am thankful. I am thankful that He has everything covered and under control. He knows best.

It reminds me of the verse Proverbs 16:9 which says "The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps."

Left to our own wishes and plans, we fail. But, He knows best! He knows what is ahead and He's constantly preparing us for what is next. I am content in this process - whatever stage we are in - and I'm enjoying every bit of it. He knows what is next and I will REST in Him through it all.

Thank you Lord that you direct our steps and not me! You are so good.

Overwhelmed with gratitude

A little while ago I posted about the financial aspect of our adoption and how the Lord was teaching me to trust Him even when my flesh was doubting. The adoption turned out to be a little more than we had expected, but I was learning to trust Him in all things. I know He will provide in His time and in His way! I have been learning huge lessons already during this adoption process, and for that I am so thankful.

Just a day or two after I posted that, a sweet friend messaged me this simple but powerful message, "So, how would you feel about my website money going to your family's adoption?" WHAT?!? I immediately began to cry. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. My heart was full. I was in awe at the heart of my sweet friend.

I met Adriana and her mom a couple of years ago at Parent's Morning Out. We all 3 volunteer together and Adriana often babysits my kiddos. Her and her mom are the sweetest people I know, and their heart and love for the Lord is so contagious. Their family is an inspiration to me. I could go on and on about this sweet family...

I remember calling Mark immediately and sharing what Adriana had messaged to me. He was speechless. Her heart for missions and her desire to serve the Lord excites me. This young girl understands! She gets it! She wants to serve Him in everything and it's so apparent by this amazing gesture. I wish I had understood this lesson when I was a young teenager!

Adriana is super crafty! She makes hair bows, headbands, bibs, onesies, burp cloths, notepads, magnets, etc! I love her stuff! Click here to visit her blog / website!

While you're visiting, go ahead and make a purchase. You will be supporting this sweet girl along with our adoption. I can promise you that you will love whatever you order!

The Lord knows what we need and He does provide. It's all in His timing and His way. Our family is beyond thankful for His provision through this sweet girl!

Adriana - You are a huge answer to prayer for us! Please know that you have blessed us in more ways than I can tell you - just by this gesture! Thank you for your heart for the Orphan. I'm so blessed to know you and your family. You are a gem!

First Home Study Visit

Yay! We had our first home study visit yesterday and it went well. It was fun to actually "start" the process. Our adoption process actually feels so much more real now that we are getting things done. We have 3 home study visits with a fourth where we will be reviewing the written home study (which I learned yesterday is about 20 pages!).

Today we did the basic questions and answers, we gave a tour of our home, talked about background, and filled out some paperwork.

Oh.

My.

Word.

There's a lot of paperwork!

On top of that we are off to get fingerprinted today - which sounds so intense!

Our next home study visit is next week and will include some training. I'm looking forward to it. Our case worker is a sweetheart so it was a joy to spend time with her.

But for now... It's off to work on more paperwork. Whew....

Pure Joy

I had a extremely blessed Thursday last week. I started my day by dropping the kiddos off at First Christian for PMO - a time where moms can drop their kids off for class while the moms go and have some much needed time to do mommy stuff. It wasn't my week to volunteer so I had a free morning. I decided to bring my computer and some adoption paperwork with me, and I found a corner of the church cafe to set up office.

I opened my email and found a friend request of someone who I didn't know. I had just, the night before, posted in the adoption group page on facebook that we had just started the adoption process and how excited I was to be part of the group. I had been watching the posts come across daily and had been very encouraged at the amount of help it had been - hearing stories and questions/answers from those who are adopting / have adopted from the same country as us. Anyway, I noticed that this particular person was a member of that group so I accepted her friend request. I was just getting ready to close my computer when an instant message came across from her.

It said something to the effect of "I peeked in your photo album and saw my friend's little boy in you Ghana photo. So I'm assuming you spend some time at . Our little girl is there too"

WHAT?!  My heart started racing.  I started shaking.  If I wasn't so concerned with what I might have looked like, I probably would've started jumping up and down and screaming!  (yes, I was really that excited).  I about fell off my chair. Forget what I had on my schedule. Forget what things need to be done. How cool was this! I sat and "chatted" with her for probably another 45 minutes. Then I called Mark with my high-pitched-crazy-excited-voice telling him what just happened!

She, in fact, pointed our her friend's little man in our Ghana photo. I sent more photos that we had of the children trying to see if we could find her daughter. It was an amazing conversation. Simply to know that the children we were spending time with just a few short months ago are now being brought home to their forever families is amazing. I know God had orchestrated the whole conversation to show me that He was in control and that He was taking care of everything.

You see, for months I have thought about that orphanage. Thought about those children. I've looked at their photos over and over again.  I have prayed for them.  I have prayed for the orphanage.  I have a few of their faces forever etched in my mind. When we were there, we got the impression by some of the volunteers that children there weren't being adopted. It made me sad. I wanted to do something. I've been talking to Mark about how we can help support that orphanage - trying to think of some ways to help those children. And then... BAM! I get that message that those sweet and beautiful children ARE being adopted and loved on and cared for! It was a sweet moment for me. My heart was full of joy. My excitement was overflowing.

A few days ago, I got in contact with the mother that has adopted this sweet little boy that was in our photo. He is now home with his forever family in the States and doing extremely well. To see him in photos and read updates about his adjustment simply brings joy to my heart. Mark held this particular little man most of the time we were at the orphanage, so to know that he has a home now and a family that loves his so much is amazing to me. I just can't get over how much of a blessing it was to be able to connect with these two wonderful women. I don't know either of them personally but I feel connected to them in a way. I'm excited to see what God has in store for the future!

A Big Change of Heart

It's been quite some time since I've last posted on our blog, so out of the annals of my mind, I will have to dig deep. That's ok, it shouldn't take too long.

When we returned from our life changing trip to Africa last year, I didn't honestly think that we would be adopting any time soon. I knew that adoption would possibly come in the future, but not soon. Not within striking distance. I was so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings when we stepped off the plane at O'Hare in Chicago, about the last thing I was considering was adding to our family.

I've told friends and family for the last several years that we "are done." No more. Raising twins has been the single hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life over an extended period of time. To lose myself, to serve others and to have every ounce of patience and self-control demanded each and every day has almost brought me to the funny farm. Through it all, I've seen the persistence and pursuit of Christ, and He continually keeps me grounded through the Word, Fellowship and the Church. I thank Him for the resources that have been granted to us that we can remain sane in a complex environment.

This past fall, Jenn's sense of responsibility to adopt a child began to be a greater and greater compulsion as the days flew by. Finally, around Christmas time she finally stopped me and said "everything within me believes that the Lord would have us to adopt." At that point, things got pretty serious and tense. See, I didn't believe that this was what the Lord was wanting, and since I'm 50% shareholder in this corporation, she needed my vote. I was thinking of going to graduate school and possibly looking at my career options, and adoption wasn't a possibility.

Jenn is a fighter though. When she believes the Lord wants something, she strategizes and plots out a formal plan to attack the enemy when he is weak (when I'm tired or in a really, really good mood). She got me by guile. I was at a point of weakness when I surrendered. I'm kidding obviously, but she was persistent in bringing this vision up to me...a lot. Daily.

The turning point was Saturday January 21st. Jenn and I were both invited to celebrate the Chinese New Year with some friends at an authentic chinese restaurant here in Champaign. Jenn was unable to go because she had an adoption workshop to go to at a local church. I went to the restaurant and several of our friends asked where was Jenn? In jest I told them that "if Jenn wants to adopt, that was fine, but I was going out for Chinese!" But, wow does the Lord have his own sense of humor.

Throughout the evening, several men that I trust and respect asked me if we were serious about adopting. I explained to them that Jenn was way more involved and had traveled down the road farther than I had. I shared that I think it's very biblical to adopt, but that I wasn't engaged or emotionally involved yet, and until that occurred, I wasn't moving forward. My pastor shared with me that night that "adoption is the purest form of discipling." That moved me. Something within me pricked. I've seen all of the stories on TV of starving children in Africa. I've heard the stories of people that have adopted and their lives have been forever changed. However, I needed to come to grips with some social stigma regarding adopting a boy from Africa and I also had to come to grips with dropping $25k for a son.

And then the power storm hit. The next week, in my quite time on 1/28/12 (I have it notated in my Bible) I read Psalm 41. It brought me to my knees. 41:1"Blessed is he who has regard for the weak." That was it. There was the lightning bolt, the "two by four," the point of no return. I knew that the Lord was calling ME to something higher. Something loftier. Something incredible. Throw in James 1:27 " Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." All at once, I found myself on the pathway, following Jenn and trying (in vain) to catch up to her.

I walked up to her at church the next morning, knowing that the Lord was calling us to adopt, and just said "I'm in" and walked away. That was it. That was the crowning moment of my declaration of decision. "I'm in." Those words mean so much to me though. As a man, if you say you are "all in" that means you are "all in." Emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually. I was "all in" in this whole adoption thing. And then I heard an absolutely incredible message about a week later from Eric Lude, pastor at Ellerslie and it blew me away. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ&sns=fb (I sincerely hope that you just watched that short video clip. If you didn't, I'll give you another chance. Go watch the clip). See, my son is in Africa. He's over there in an orphanage. Not eating right. Not having adequate water. Not clothed properly. He's not being emotionally and spiritually strengthened. He's my son, and I will "CLAW THROUGH A WALL TO GO GET MY SON!" He is mine. The Lord has given him to me. To nourish. To encourage. To strengthen. To disciple...

We've been accepted at the different agencies that we are working through, so now it's just the waiting game to get matched. Will you pray for us that the Lord matches us with the perfect boy for us? (you don't get to pick anymore, you get "matched" which is fine with us.) We are willing to adopt a special needs boy, and we feel called to do so. Psalm 41 told us that. I miss my son. He's out there. Waiting. Wanting to call me daddy. And I'm here. Waiting. Wanting to call out his name: Son.

Letting go...

It's it funny how when God is trying to get you to understand something, He basically just shoves in your face.

Well, that's how He works with me sometimes when I just don't seem to be getting it. Everything that I've been reading lately and different scriptures have been speaking to my heart about one thing...

STUFF

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not an avid collector of junk and I in no way fit on that t.v. show about collecting junk to fill your house. Our house is neat and kept and I actually am always trying to get rid of clutter - most of that clutter being in my scrapbook / school room and in the kids' rooms. However, I also have a lot of just plain stuff. For example, in my craft / school room I have 2 containers of ribbon... every size, every color, every pattern imaginable. I had an idea at one point to make hair bows for my girls and I did... a couple of times. Now, it just sits in the closet. I am one of those people that at any point in the day I have 1000 ideas running through my head of stuff that I want to make. Only a few of those actually make it to execution.

Ok, back to my thought... The Lord has been teaching me lately to LET GO... let go of those things that I place above him - whether that means that I think about them more than I talk to my God or whether that means I work with them more than I meet with Him. My heart is changing. I need to let go of things that just aren't a big deal to me anymore. Now, I'm not advocating going out and getting rid of everything that you don't use but in my situation, I just wanted to do a little "cleaning up."

I also think about how much "stuff" we have as Americans. Do I really need 15 different hobbies to take up my time or could I be doing other things like raising awareness for different things, reading, studying, spending time with my family and friends, being in His PRESENCE!

I did a little clean out of my office and I gave away some of those things that I've been holding onto for a while. Not only was it freeing for me but it was a blessing to me to be able to give them to a sweet friend who I know will get good use out of it.

Did I go crazy and give away everything? No. Do I feel more free? Yes. Am I going to keep going in this same spirit? Yes.

I have a strong desire right now for Him and all of Him. I don't want anything to get in the way of my relationship with Him...

What are you holding onto? Is it a relationship, an activity, an attitude? I pray that you too would find freedom in letting go. I can promise you that letting go will lead to much more blessing than holding on.

Lord, continue to make yourself real to me. I pray that I wouldn't put anything in front of my relationship with You. I love you, Lord. Thank You for the lessons that you show me.

I lift my hands to believe again

First of all, thank you for all the encouraging messages and all the prayers for our family during this process of adoption. We have had an overwhelming amount of support and love from those around us. Not that criticism would cause us to change our minds or question our decision, but it's encouraging to know that we have people standing with us and praying for us - and our little man who is waiting for us to come and get him.

I titled this post, "I lift my hands to believe again" - because belief is what it's all about for us right now. We got our packet from our agency this past week and of course included in that is the fee schedule. Up until this point, the cost hasn't been an "issue" to me. Sure I knew it was going to be expensive. Sure I knew it was a lot of money. But, it didn't ever really bother me. I just thought, "He has called us and He will provide." And I still think that. However, there's something about seeing that amount on paper, in your hands, black and white, that just makes it so real. It hit home.

I have other friends who are adopting right now, and we have had the conversations about the finances. My one dear friend tells me that it just comes in. God just provides. And I shake my head in agreement. Why, then, when I saw that silly fee schedule, did my anxiety level start to rise?

Lack of Trust. Lack of Faith. Lack of Belief.

That makes me sad just to type that. I trust God - I believe Him and His promises. I know He provides. BUT... the question is: Will He do that for US?

The frustrating part about all of this is that my head says yes. I've seen Him work in our lives and the lives of those around us. I've praised Him for miracles in our life. I've thanked Him for the work He has done. I'm currently thanking Him for what He's doing.

We are about to learn some huge lessons from our very big God.

I sometimes think that here in America we say we believe God but we only really believe Him 75% of the time or 90% of the time. (I'm talking to myself here too!) We have resources at the tips of our fingers so anytime we need anything, we just get it. If we need money for something, we walk over to the bank and take out a loan (I'm not advocating debt and not saying that our family does this, just saying that it happens in our Western culture). If we don't have food in the house, we go out for dinner. If we are sick, we go to the doctor. If we don't like our job or we are discontent with where we are, we get a new job or move to a new place. We have so many resources at our fingertips that we fail to truly seek Him first. I think about the people in other countries. Those that are homeless, those that are sick, those that are destitute. Where do they go when they have no food? What do they do when they are sick? They live in mud shacks or on the streets. They eat scraps of food from the garbage piles (I've seen this with my own eyes - a young girl digging through a garbage dump). These people, who are what we would call "poor", are in actuality so very RICH. Why? Because they truly trust God. They have nothing else but their trust in God. They are content with their circumstances (maybe not "Happy" but content).

I wish that the Western world had their faith. I wish that I had their faith. The kind of faith that surpasses circumstance. The kind of faith that surpasses happiness and contentment.

Over the next few months, we will be sending very large amounts of money to our agency and other government offices for various fees. In fact, in about a month of so we'll be sending in a few thousand dollars. It's no secret that international adoption is very expensive. However, God has called us down this path and that we are 100% sure of. He has called us to take care of the orphan. When He calls us to something, He will provide the way.

My flesh tells me that it would be "so much easier" if we had the funds in hand, all of it, ready to go and ready to send it. That way I would know that it was taken care of and that we were set. However, it's not like that. He's calling us to adoption and calling us to trust Him in providing for every step of the way. I will trust Him in each step. I will trust Him for the full amount.

I keep thinking that if we had all the finances in hand, ready to go, then that wouldn't require faith. It would simply be an act of obedience. We are called to walk by faith, not by sight and not by obedience. I can't see what's ahead of us. I can't see what we will go through to bring our little man home. I can't see now how the finances will come in. But, I will walk by faith, knowing that it will all work out.

Thank You Lord that you are our provider. Lord, that you have called us to the journey of adoption and that You, Lord, will provide for every step along the way. We trust in You and believe You. Thank You that through this our faith will be strengthened. We raise our hands to you knowing that You are God and You are good. We love you, Jesus.

Application = APPROVED!

Here we go... OFFICIALLY!

We have officially been approved to go forward with the steps of adoption through the agency that we desired. I didn't ever really think of not getting accepted but to hear the official word, I have to admit, was pretty exciting.

I absolutely love the coordinator that we will be working with for our particular country. Her heart for the country and knowledge of the customs there is huge. It's encouraging to know that I can absolutely trust her judgement in the process of this adoption. Sometimes when dealing with international adoptions, things that go on can be fishy (depending on what country you are dealing with). I know without a doubt that I can trust our coordinator to be honest and forthcoming with us - every step of the way.

Next step is applying to an agency to have our homestudy done. I have that all ready to go. We just wanted to wait to get the official ok from our agency. Now we send the next application off and hopefully get started on our home study.

Things are moving... even though this process could take 12-18 months or even more, I'm grateful for every step of the way!

Application IN!

We sent in our application fee to our desired agency today! It's such a small step but so exciting. I know we have a L.O.N.G. way to go in this journey but I'm going to celebrate every step of the way.

I had turned in our online application over a week ago. I waited 5 days to hear something back and nothing. I called on last Wednesday to find out if they had gotten our submitted application. Apparently, the agency had been having some computer / network problems and never received our application. So, I resent it that day.

Today I sent in the final application (signed) along with a family picture, tax info, proof of health insurance, and a copy of our marriage certificate! whew!

I love the agency that we have chosen to move forward with. I feel at peace with choosing this particular agency. In the beginning when I was doing research and looking at all different agencies, I had emailed a couple of them with questions. When I emailed this particular agency, the contact for the country we choose got back to us within 4 hours of the email being sent (after work hours). I was impressed not only with her quickness in response but also with the personalization of her email. I felt like I had known her for a long time. She's extremely caring and helpful and has a huge heart for our particular country - which is very important for me. We just have peace about the agency and how it is run. I'm excited to move forward. The other agency that I had emailed didn't get back to me for almost 1 week and their response was a form letter. Definitely wasn't appealing!

Now on to getting our application ready for our homestudy agency. I haven't filled out this much paperwork (and this is ONLY the beginning) since we bought our house. I'm loving every minute of it though because I know in the end we will hopefully be bringing home our little boy.

Plus One, Minus One

Plus ONE Bettinger.

Minus ONE Orphan.

We have decided to start the international adoption process!

AND...

We are ecstatic!

Now, let me back up and give a little background on this HUGE new part of our lives.

I think adoption has always been something that I've thought about since early on in our marriage. We didn't talk about it much more than my casual mention of "it would great to adopt someday." I had no idea what the meant or what it would look like. I was dreaming. Speaking out loud. But not really realizing how much of a passion I would soon acquire for the orphans.

We talked about adoption last summer and even sent away for an information packet. I had met some different families who had adopted and so we started talking about it a little more. Still no big moves.

I'm glad this blog is about our "journey" in getting to this place because I can honestly say that God has done so much in my heart and my family along the way. So many things have just lined up... something that only He can do. Everything from changing hearts to my 5 year old starting "The Love Project" to help orphans in Africa. A 5 year old. Thank you, Lord. (More to come on The Love Project later.)

We led a trip to Ghana, Africa in July / August with our college students and to say it was amazing is an understatement. So many things happened on that trip... change of passions, new love for people, desires to serve overseas, among a long list of other things. One of our experiences was to visit an orphanage in Ghana. The minute we walked in, the children were lifting their arms to be held. They wanted us to show them love. Almost all of them fell asleep in the arms of team members almost instantaneously after being picked up. Oh, the power of someone LOVING on a sweet child. In one sense, it made me miss my children but in another sense it really opened my eyes to their situation. No parents. No family other than maybe a sibling. No love shown to them individually. Sure they are loved on by the staff and volunteers but we all know how that is so much different from being in a family. I'm sure they have no one that goes in late at night to check on them while they are sleeping - just because. Or, what about bedtime prayers. Or just a simple hug accompanied by an "I love you." My heart broke. I wept as we drove away from that orphanage asking God what He wanted me to do. I struggled while we were in Ghana because I wanted to help everyone, to solve all the problems. I know this is unrealistic but driving from the orphanage I was just asking God what He would have me to do. My family. My husband. How could I help the people of Ghana, the orphans, the widows.

After we returned from Ghana, I was ready to go back - like, the day we got home I could've jumped back on an airplane back (if I could take my kids!) My heart was there and my desire to serve the people of Africa was strong... as was Mark's. We struggled when we got home. The week we returned, many things started happening. I was hospitalized as the result of a parasite that I picked up in Ghana, my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer (and joined Jesus 6 weeks later), Mark's father was diagnosed with cancer and many things started happening with Mark's job. It was an attack. A big, spiritual attack. We kept trusting Him and leaning on Him and we had a strong support system with our friends. Because of everything that was going on, adoption and even the thought of returning to Africa was put on hold.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago.

In one weekend, God changed our lives. I went on Friday to meet with a girl who was selling Usborne. I had told her about a few programs that Usborne offered that were great. We got together at the playground and chatted for about an hour and a half. Meanwhile, I learned that she had adopted from Khazikstan. Instantly I felt a bond. Because my heart for adoption is so strong and it is such a desire of mine, I felt instantly connected. The next morning, I met a dear friend who I had only talked to online. Mark and I supported her adoption by purchasing adoption tshirts from her last Fall and so we wanted to get together in person. We shared our hearts and talked about a little bit of everything. I learned some new things about adoption care / orphan ministry (more on that later). It was just awesome. Then, later that afternoon I met for almost 3 hours with a new friend from church who is in the middle of the adoption process. It was so encouraging and inspiring. I left there full of hope and ready to tackle the world (so to speak). That evening, I went with another friend from church, who works for an adoption agency, to an adoption / orphan awareness dinner at a church here in town. It was simple and informative. I took home a lot of literature and met with Mark (he had plans to go to a dinner with some friends). Apparently at that dinner, the pastor of our church said something to Mark that resonated with him. He said "Adoption is the truest form of discipleship."

As I had said, Mark and I had talked about adoption and he wanted to but he just wasn't "ready" yet. There was a lot going on and he just felt like he wasn't ready to take on one more thing... especially knowing how emotional the process could be. Until that next morning...

As we were getting ready for church he walked past me and said, "I'm in!" and walked away. I stopped, turned around and went to ask him what that was all about. He said, "I'm ready to start the process. Start researching and let's go." He said that if we were called to adopt and we could adopt, then why weren't we. Wow, Lord...

Since then, we've applied to an agency and picked a country. We are hoping to bring a little boy home in the next 12-18 months or however long God has our journey lined out to be. Due to restrictions, I can't post the country or our agency on this blog but that doesn't matter anyway. God led us to an agency that I feel is just perfect for us and we are so excited.

I look back at that crazy weekend of meeting with friends and I am just in awe of how God used every one of those people in my life. He has been orchestrating adoption in our hearts from a long time ago. It's amazing to see how all the "little moments" just fall into place and remind me that He is in control and He has this! So many things have been instrumental in our journey and I know that it's something that only He can do.

Mady is super excited. As I mentioned earlier, she is developing a heart for the orphans of this world. She prays for our little guy, wherever he is right now, with such tenderness and sincerity. She gets so excited when she tells our friends that "we are bringing home an orphan." I love seeing her heart for the children "with no mommies or daddies" and I'm excited to see how He continues to work in her heart. What a life experience it will be for her to grow up with this brother. What an amazing world vision she will have, along with Sam and Hannah.

If you could pray for us, we would certainly appreciate it. We have our application sent off to the agency to begin the process. We are just wanting to serve God and serve the orphans. He tells us in His word to care for the weak, the fatherless, the orphans. While I know that not everyone is called to adopt, we are all called to care for those listed above. Our family have answered our call to adopt and we are moving forward with excitement. I know it won't always be an easy road. Things will probably go wrong somewhere and we'll get hung up on something. Things will be emotional. It will be hard. But we are trusting Him and moving forward to be His love to one special orphan boy.

What an incredible privilege it is to be able to live the gospel out first hand... to adopt a special little guy into our family and call him our own - taking care of him and sharing the love of Christ with him... Just as Christ adopted us into His family.

Big news coming SOON!

It's been a LONG time since we updated our blog. However, changes in our lives have warranted the need to start blogging again. This will be one of the main ways that we update friends and family with what is going on in our lives. We are so excited! I'll describe in detail what the title of our blog means to our family, "Plus ONE... Minus ONE."

MORE to come SOON!

First, I need to get my little ones lunch and put them to bed!

Check back SOON!