Plus One, Minus One

Plus ONE Bettinger.

Minus ONE Orphan.

We have decided to start the international adoption process!

AND...

We are ecstatic!

Now, let me back up and give a little background on this HUGE new part of our lives.

I think adoption has always been something that I've thought about since early on in our marriage. We didn't talk about it much more than my casual mention of "it would great to adopt someday." I had no idea what the meant or what it would look like. I was dreaming. Speaking out loud. But not really realizing how much of a passion I would soon acquire for the orphans.

We talked about adoption last summer and even sent away for an information packet. I had met some different families who had adopted and so we started talking about it a little more. Still no big moves.

I'm glad this blog is about our "journey" in getting to this place because I can honestly say that God has done so much in my heart and my family along the way. So many things have just lined up... something that only He can do. Everything from changing hearts to my 5 year old starting "The Love Project" to help orphans in Africa. A 5 year old. Thank you, Lord. (More to come on The Love Project later.)

We led a trip to Ghana, Africa in July / August with our college students and to say it was amazing is an understatement. So many things happened on that trip... change of passions, new love for people, desires to serve overseas, among a long list of other things. One of our experiences was to visit an orphanage in Ghana. The minute we walked in, the children were lifting their arms to be held. They wanted us to show them love. Almost all of them fell asleep in the arms of team members almost instantaneously after being picked up. Oh, the power of someone LOVING on a sweet child. In one sense, it made me miss my children but in another sense it really opened my eyes to their situation. No parents. No family other than maybe a sibling. No love shown to them individually. Sure they are loved on by the staff and volunteers but we all know how that is so much different from being in a family. I'm sure they have no one that goes in late at night to check on them while they are sleeping - just because. Or, what about bedtime prayers. Or just a simple hug accompanied by an "I love you." My heart broke. I wept as we drove away from that orphanage asking God what He wanted me to do. I struggled while we were in Ghana because I wanted to help everyone, to solve all the problems. I know this is unrealistic but driving from the orphanage I was just asking God what He would have me to do. My family. My husband. How could I help the people of Ghana, the orphans, the widows.

After we returned from Ghana, I was ready to go back - like, the day we got home I could've jumped back on an airplane back (if I could take my kids!) My heart was there and my desire to serve the people of Africa was strong... as was Mark's. We struggled when we got home. The week we returned, many things started happening. I was hospitalized as the result of a parasite that I picked up in Ghana, my grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer (and joined Jesus 6 weeks later), Mark's father was diagnosed with cancer and many things started happening with Mark's job. It was an attack. A big, spiritual attack. We kept trusting Him and leaning on Him and we had a strong support system with our friends. Because of everything that was going on, adoption and even the thought of returning to Africa was put on hold.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago.

In one weekend, God changed our lives. I went on Friday to meet with a girl who was selling Usborne. I had told her about a few programs that Usborne offered that were great. We got together at the playground and chatted for about an hour and a half. Meanwhile, I learned that she had adopted from Khazikstan. Instantly I felt a bond. Because my heart for adoption is so strong and it is such a desire of mine, I felt instantly connected. The next morning, I met a dear friend who I had only talked to online. Mark and I supported her adoption by purchasing adoption tshirts from her last Fall and so we wanted to get together in person. We shared our hearts and talked about a little bit of everything. I learned some new things about adoption care / orphan ministry (more on that later). It was just awesome. Then, later that afternoon I met for almost 3 hours with a new friend from church who is in the middle of the adoption process. It was so encouraging and inspiring. I left there full of hope and ready to tackle the world (so to speak). That evening, I went with another friend from church, who works for an adoption agency, to an adoption / orphan awareness dinner at a church here in town. It was simple and informative. I took home a lot of literature and met with Mark (he had plans to go to a dinner with some friends). Apparently at that dinner, the pastor of our church said something to Mark that resonated with him. He said "Adoption is the truest form of discipleship."

As I had said, Mark and I had talked about adoption and he wanted to but he just wasn't "ready" yet. There was a lot going on and he just felt like he wasn't ready to take on one more thing... especially knowing how emotional the process could be. Until that next morning...

As we were getting ready for church he walked past me and said, "I'm in!" and walked away. I stopped, turned around and went to ask him what that was all about. He said, "I'm ready to start the process. Start researching and let's go." He said that if we were called to adopt and we could adopt, then why weren't we. Wow, Lord...

Since then, we've applied to an agency and picked a country. We are hoping to bring a little boy home in the next 12-18 months or however long God has our journey lined out to be. Due to restrictions, I can't post the country or our agency on this blog but that doesn't matter anyway. God led us to an agency that I feel is just perfect for us and we are so excited.

I look back at that crazy weekend of meeting with friends and I am just in awe of how God used every one of those people in my life. He has been orchestrating adoption in our hearts from a long time ago. It's amazing to see how all the "little moments" just fall into place and remind me that He is in control and He has this! So many things have been instrumental in our journey and I know that it's something that only He can do.

Mady is super excited. As I mentioned earlier, she is developing a heart for the orphans of this world. She prays for our little guy, wherever he is right now, with such tenderness and sincerity. She gets so excited when she tells our friends that "we are bringing home an orphan." I love seeing her heart for the children "with no mommies or daddies" and I'm excited to see how He continues to work in her heart. What a life experience it will be for her to grow up with this brother. What an amazing world vision she will have, along with Sam and Hannah.

If you could pray for us, we would certainly appreciate it. We have our application sent off to the agency to begin the process. We are just wanting to serve God and serve the orphans. He tells us in His word to care for the weak, the fatherless, the orphans. While I know that not everyone is called to adopt, we are all called to care for those listed above. Our family have answered our call to adopt and we are moving forward with excitement. I know it won't always be an easy road. Things will probably go wrong somewhere and we'll get hung up on something. Things will be emotional. It will be hard. But we are trusting Him and moving forward to be His love to one special orphan boy.

What an incredible privilege it is to be able to live the gospel out first hand... to adopt a special little guy into our family and call him our own - taking care of him and sharing the love of Christ with him... Just as Christ adopted us into His family.