How YOU can help!

I've had many people over the last few weeks ask how they can help us with our adoption and be involved. I love that. I love to see people coming together to support one another! It brings joy to my heart!

I wanted to post about the ways that you and your family can help us bring our little guy home from GHANA! (I don't think that I've officially mentioned that we are adopting from Ghana yet, so there it is! I had heard some wrong information that we weren't supposed to list country name but that has been corrected! -- Although I'm sure most of you could have guessed it was Ghana!)

Back to my post...

Most all of you know that adoption. is. expensive. Very. expensive. We acknowledge that and know that God has called us down this road. We also know that because He has made this path of adoption clear to us, He will also provide for us. Now... in walks the hard part for me. I'm a Type A personality... I like to have a schedule, I like to have everything figured out, I like to have all my ducks in a row - not to mention the crazy OCD organization! Needless to say, stepping out in faith with this adoption process is a huge thing for me. He's already taught me so so much and changed me in ways that I am forever grateful but, I need to remember that IT'S NOT ABOUT ME! It's not about my timing, my plans, my ideas, and my organization... It's about HIS! I can't plan anything on my own or make it work out on my own. It doesn't work that way! I will choose to put my faith in Him, knowing that He will provide for us and this adoption... in whatever way HE chooses to do that.

With that being said, I'm going to list some ways that you can come along side of us in this journey... The journey to bring our little man home from Ghana.

1. The first way you can help join in on our journey is by PRAYING! Prayer is so important. We need prayer warriors on our side. We need your prayers as we are preparing to bring home Baby Boy Bettinger. It is not an easy journey by any means, but we know that He is faithful and He is preparing the way for us. We appreciate all of your prayers already and we are grateful that we have such a strong support for the future!

2. I'm super excited about this next thing. I've recently started metal stamping and I LOVE IT! I'm currently open for business :) Plus One, Minus One Jewelry! All proceeds go to fund our adoption (does that sound business-y?!)
Yes, I'm doing metal stamping ... Necklaces, Keychains, Bracelets - anything that you could ever want! Here are some pictures of things that I can do:

This is actually the first thing that I ever stamped. I made it for my mom. It says "Carry You Always." It has my grandmother's birthstone on it. It's in remembrance of her as she recently passed away in September.

I do have these rounds with the hearts in the middle and can stamp anything around it... adding any type of charm that you want.

I'm excited to be getting this stamp soon... the AFRICA stamp! They are VERY hard to find and I've got one on order as soon as she releases them. Should only be a week or so. This stamp looks great as well by adding a heart over your favorite country in Africa (I'll be making myself one with a heart over Ghana for sure!)

This is just a great picture to show that just about anything can be stamped and added to make a great necklace! It's also a little hard to see in the picture but I can make the round either concave or convex (curving inward or outward) for style preferences.

A cute picture of an example of children's names. Could also work with adding birth dates. Or doing something fun with a husband's or wife's name. Another great visual for having your children's names on a necklace. LOVE LOVE LOVE this for those adoptive families out there. Or.. just just let people know that you are supporting an adoption.

a great visual for stacking disks on a keychain!

I've seen a lot of these done up... great grandparent gifts. I've also seen them done on "washers" - or a disk with a circle in the middle.

I know that's probably a lot but I wanted to list a few options.

I can do quite a bit... just email me (jmlbettinger@yahoo.com) or Facebook me and we can "chat" about logistics and design. I have an uppercase and lowercase alphabet. I can add charms. I have plain rounds, rounds with hearts, rounds with circles, and keychains.

They make great personal gifts, great gifts for family members... And the best part is that with your purchase you are making a difference.

I would love to work with you! Make sure you tell all of your friends as well!

Prices are between $15 and $22 - depending on how many disks you want and if you want charms.

I look forward to working with YOU! Oh, and I of course can ship jewelry to anywhere!!!

3. The third way that you can help out, if you feel led, is by donating straight to our adoption fund. There's a paypal donate button on the right side of my blog, under the picture of Africa. Feel free to click on that and send a direct payment if you feel the Lord leading you that way. We thank you in advance for any donation that you send, whether $15 or $50.

4. The fourth way you can help is by visiting my sweet friend Adriana's blog and making a purchase. You can read my post here and the story about this amazing girl's BIG heart! Make a purchase from Adriana's blog and she will donate a portion to our adoption! I'm still in awe. We are so thankful, Adriana! Visit her blog / shop!

I can't express what it has meant to have so many friends and family supporting us along this journey thus far. We are currently waiting on our foster licensing to be approved. Because the adoption won't be fully complete in the U.S. when we arrive home, we have to have a foster care license so that we are able to have our little man with us until the adoption is made complete in IL. (It's obviously complete in Ghana when we go through court.) So, we are waiting on that license and then our home study will be ready for review at our agency. At that point, we will send in our next monetary installment along with some more paperwork and the home study. Once our home study is reviewed and approved, we are officially ready to be MATCHED! wahoo! It's a lot... but it's one step at a time.

Thanks again for all of your prayers and support. Things are moving along and God is in control! I've already seen so many things happen in the process this far that amaze me! God is awesome!

Let's bring home Baby Boy Bettinger!!!!

A Perfect Pet for Peyton - REVIEW & GIVEAWAY!

From time to time I'm going to start doing giveaways on my blog to which I'm very excited about! And, what better way to start off my first giveaway than with an amazing book called A Perfect Pet for Peyton by Rick Osborne & Gary Chapman.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/5LoveLanguages

Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/drgarychapman

About A Perfect Pet for Peyton:

http://www.5lovelanguages.com/resource/a-perfect-pet-for-peyton/

"This wonderfully imaginative children’s hardcover book by bestselling authors Gary Chapman and Rick Osborne, featuring four-color illustrations (with hidden details!) by Wilson Williams, Jr., will help children learn the importance of love. Based on Gary’s highly successful The 5 Love Languages®, A Perfect Pet for Peyton tells an entertaining and playful story of five children who each, with the help of Mr. Chapman and the unique pets at his special emporium, discover their own personal love language. Children and parents alike will experience firsthand the power of the love languages as they cuddle up and spend precious time together reading this book over and over again."

So, now... the best part... what do I think of this book?

I absolutely, 100%, 2 thumbs up, jumping up and down, LOVED IT!

Gary Chapman (& Rick Osborne) did a wonderful job on this book. Starting with the illustrations (by Wilson Williams Jr.)... The pictures are brightly colored and very engaging. My kiddos loved looking at the pictures. Another thing that I loved about the illustrations were that on some pages you were asked to find certain bugs or pick out certain animals (some fun hidden details!). My littles enjoyed searching the pages for every animal under the sun! Also, the text is FUN. Sporadic words are enlarged and brightly colored making it fun to read through the story.

The story itself is about twins, Penny and Peyton, and their birthday adventure with Mr. Chapman. They get their very own perfect pet at this birthday extravaganza. Through the story, the readers are learning about each child and you start seeing how each child is different. These differences, or love languages, are the way in which children (and adults) give and receive love. By understanding the different love languages and learning by which way your children give and receive love, you learn so much about your children. In the same way this is true of adults as well. Marriages are definitely made stronger by simply know how your spouse receives love. You will be able to better show them love if you know in which way they receive it the best!

Tangent :)

By the end of the story, each child has a special pet to take home. Peyton has a hard time deciding if he wants a special pet but by the end of the story, his pet is obvious! It was exciting for me to read this to my 5 year old who (a) loved the story but (b) was able to learn more about the different love languages. I was able to explain the concept to her and use the book as a teaching aid - because it was easy for her to understand by using the story.

The other thing I love about this book is the quiz at the end. It is a great tool for helping your children to realize their love languages. After reading the story a few times and knowing that they are starting to grasp the differences, you can go through the quiz with them asking the different questions pertaining to each love language. Using this, as well as watching them and listening to them, you'll soon be able to distinguish which language they are more drawn towards and how to better show love to them. I'm excited about using the quiz with my 5 year old... who was already asking after the first time I read it to her, "Mommy, what's my love language?"

The story is engaging and definitely a good read for my kiddos as well as myself. I really enjoyed it. It's a great way to introduce our children to something so important at an early age. I definitely recommend this book and give it the awesome award!

ONE LUCKY PERSON will be able to win a copy of this sweet book, A Perfect Pet for Peyton. Just simply leave a comment on this post... making sure that you leave an email address so that I can contact you. The giveaway will end on Sunday, April 1st. WInner will be chosen on April 2nd, by random.org.

“Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Home Study Visits - check!

Yesterday afternoon we finished our final home study visit. I'm overwhelmed with emotion - excited to be almost finished with this step and anxious to move on to the part where we are matched with our child! Oh, how that day can't come quick enough.

Our second home study visit, last Monday, was all about training. It was about an hour and a half of learning about everything under the sun related to adoption. We got to keep the big book with articles, handouts, and tons of other resources for all things adoption. Even though we went through the booklet quickly, I'll probably sit down here in the next week or so and read through the articles. I love taking in everything that I can right now. It's kind of comparable to when you find out you're pregnant for the first time and so you start reading everything you can starting with "What to expect when you're expecting." (or maybe that was just me!)

Our visit yesterday was interviews. I was so nervous. I dislike answering questions about myself like "Describe your personality" or "what is your greatest strength and weakness." Not my favorite thing to do but we made it! Mark and I both were interviewed individually and Mady was interviewed as well. She told me that she was asked "What do you like to do with mommy" to which her response was "cuddle." When asked "What do you like to do with Daddy?" her response was "Play lion." I love it!

I think the hardest part of the overall home study process was the amount of paperwork that had to be done... criminal checks, fingerprints, fire evacuation plans, health evaluations, autobiographies, birth certificates, marriage license, taxes, and that's just to name a small portion. Our 3 home study visits were laid out over a total of 12 days. To say I was stressed yesterday was an understatement. But, we have everything turned in (minus two sheets that I'm waiting on by email) !!! I'm excited.

Our next step is to wait for some approval from DCFS. Then our home study will be written up, reviewed by us and faxed to our placement agency to make sure that it fits with their requirements. After that, we start working with our placement agency - sending them another big packet of paperwork and a big chunk of money. Then we wait for referral!

I've been told this before but this whole process of adoption is really a "hurry up and then wait" process. We hurry up and get everything that we need and sent in and then we wait.... then we hurry up and do something else and then wait... Although at times I get anxious I know that I need His patience to keep me going. I need to be content with the circumstances. I know that everything happens in God's timing... and on His terms! So, for that I am thankful. I am thankful that He has everything covered and under control. He knows best.

It reminds me of the verse Proverbs 16:9 which says "The mind of man plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps."

Left to our own wishes and plans, we fail. But, He knows best! He knows what is ahead and He's constantly preparing us for what is next. I am content in this process - whatever stage we are in - and I'm enjoying every bit of it. He knows what is next and I will REST in Him through it all.

Thank you Lord that you direct our steps and not me! You are so good.

Overwhelmed with gratitude

A little while ago I posted about the financial aspect of our adoption and how the Lord was teaching me to trust Him even when my flesh was doubting. The adoption turned out to be a little more than we had expected, but I was learning to trust Him in all things. I know He will provide in His time and in His way! I have been learning huge lessons already during this adoption process, and for that I am so thankful.

Just a day or two after I posted that, a sweet friend messaged me this simple but powerful message, "So, how would you feel about my website money going to your family's adoption?" WHAT?!? I immediately began to cry. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. My heart was full. I was in awe at the heart of my sweet friend.

I met Adriana and her mom a couple of years ago at Parent's Morning Out. We all 3 volunteer together and Adriana often babysits my kiddos. Her and her mom are the sweetest people I know, and their heart and love for the Lord is so contagious. Their family is an inspiration to me. I could go on and on about this sweet family...

I remember calling Mark immediately and sharing what Adriana had messaged to me. He was speechless. Her heart for missions and her desire to serve the Lord excites me. This young girl understands! She gets it! She wants to serve Him in everything and it's so apparent by this amazing gesture. I wish I had understood this lesson when I was a young teenager!

Adriana is super crafty! She makes hair bows, headbands, bibs, onesies, burp cloths, notepads, magnets, etc! I love her stuff! Click here to visit her blog / website!

While you're visiting, go ahead and make a purchase. You will be supporting this sweet girl along with our adoption. I can promise you that you will love whatever you order!

The Lord knows what we need and He does provide. It's all in His timing and His way. Our family is beyond thankful for His provision through this sweet girl!

Adriana - You are a huge answer to prayer for us! Please know that you have blessed us in more ways than I can tell you - just by this gesture! Thank you for your heart for the Orphan. I'm so blessed to know you and your family. You are a gem!

First Home Study Visit

Yay! We had our first home study visit yesterday and it went well. It was fun to actually "start" the process. Our adoption process actually feels so much more real now that we are getting things done. We have 3 home study visits with a fourth where we will be reviewing the written home study (which I learned yesterday is about 20 pages!).

Today we did the basic questions and answers, we gave a tour of our home, talked about background, and filled out some paperwork.

Oh.

My.

Word.

There's a lot of paperwork!

On top of that we are off to get fingerprinted today - which sounds so intense!

Our next home study visit is next week and will include some training. I'm looking forward to it. Our case worker is a sweetheart so it was a joy to spend time with her.

But for now... It's off to work on more paperwork. Whew....

Pure Joy

I had a extremely blessed Thursday last week. I started my day by dropping the kiddos off at First Christian for PMO - a time where moms can drop their kids off for class while the moms go and have some much needed time to do mommy stuff. It wasn't my week to volunteer so I had a free morning. I decided to bring my computer and some adoption paperwork with me, and I found a corner of the church cafe to set up office.

I opened my email and found a friend request of someone who I didn't know. I had just, the night before, posted in the adoption group page on facebook that we had just started the adoption process and how excited I was to be part of the group. I had been watching the posts come across daily and had been very encouraged at the amount of help it had been - hearing stories and questions/answers from those who are adopting / have adopted from the same country as us. Anyway, I noticed that this particular person was a member of that group so I accepted her friend request. I was just getting ready to close my computer when an instant message came across from her.

It said something to the effect of "I peeked in your photo album and saw my friend's little boy in you Ghana photo. So I'm assuming you spend some time at . Our little girl is there too"

WHAT?!  My heart started racing.  I started shaking.  If I wasn't so concerned with what I might have looked like, I probably would've started jumping up and down and screaming!  (yes, I was really that excited).  I about fell off my chair. Forget what I had on my schedule. Forget what things need to be done. How cool was this! I sat and "chatted" with her for probably another 45 minutes. Then I called Mark with my high-pitched-crazy-excited-voice telling him what just happened!

She, in fact, pointed our her friend's little man in our Ghana photo. I sent more photos that we had of the children trying to see if we could find her daughter. It was an amazing conversation. Simply to know that the children we were spending time with just a few short months ago are now being brought home to their forever families is amazing. I know God had orchestrated the whole conversation to show me that He was in control and that He was taking care of everything.

You see, for months I have thought about that orphanage. Thought about those children. I've looked at their photos over and over again.  I have prayed for them.  I have prayed for the orphanage.  I have a few of their faces forever etched in my mind. When we were there, we got the impression by some of the volunteers that children there weren't being adopted. It made me sad. I wanted to do something. I've been talking to Mark about how we can help support that orphanage - trying to think of some ways to help those children. And then... BAM! I get that message that those sweet and beautiful children ARE being adopted and loved on and cared for! It was a sweet moment for me. My heart was full of joy. My excitement was overflowing.

A few days ago, I got in contact with the mother that has adopted this sweet little boy that was in our photo. He is now home with his forever family in the States and doing extremely well. To see him in photos and read updates about his adjustment simply brings joy to my heart. Mark held this particular little man most of the time we were at the orphanage, so to know that he has a home now and a family that loves his so much is amazing to me. I just can't get over how much of a blessing it was to be able to connect with these two wonderful women. I don't know either of them personally but I feel connected to them in a way. I'm excited to see what God has in store for the future!

A Big Change of Heart

It's been quite some time since I've last posted on our blog, so out of the annals of my mind, I will have to dig deep. That's ok, it shouldn't take too long.

When we returned from our life changing trip to Africa last year, I didn't honestly think that we would be adopting any time soon. I knew that adoption would possibly come in the future, but not soon. Not within striking distance. I was so overwhelmed with emotions and feelings when we stepped off the plane at O'Hare in Chicago, about the last thing I was considering was adding to our family.

I've told friends and family for the last several years that we "are done." No more. Raising twins has been the single hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life over an extended period of time. To lose myself, to serve others and to have every ounce of patience and self-control demanded each and every day has almost brought me to the funny farm. Through it all, I've seen the persistence and pursuit of Christ, and He continually keeps me grounded through the Word, Fellowship and the Church. I thank Him for the resources that have been granted to us that we can remain sane in a complex environment.

This past fall, Jenn's sense of responsibility to adopt a child began to be a greater and greater compulsion as the days flew by. Finally, around Christmas time she finally stopped me and said "everything within me believes that the Lord would have us to adopt." At that point, things got pretty serious and tense. See, I didn't believe that this was what the Lord was wanting, and since I'm 50% shareholder in this corporation, she needed my vote. I was thinking of going to graduate school and possibly looking at my career options, and adoption wasn't a possibility.

Jenn is a fighter though. When she believes the Lord wants something, she strategizes and plots out a formal plan to attack the enemy when he is weak (when I'm tired or in a really, really good mood). She got me by guile. I was at a point of weakness when I surrendered. I'm kidding obviously, but she was persistent in bringing this vision up to me...a lot. Daily.

The turning point was Saturday January 21st. Jenn and I were both invited to celebrate the Chinese New Year with some friends at an authentic chinese restaurant here in Champaign. Jenn was unable to go because she had an adoption workshop to go to at a local church. I went to the restaurant and several of our friends asked where was Jenn? In jest I told them that "if Jenn wants to adopt, that was fine, but I was going out for Chinese!" But, wow does the Lord have his own sense of humor.

Throughout the evening, several men that I trust and respect asked me if we were serious about adopting. I explained to them that Jenn was way more involved and had traveled down the road farther than I had. I shared that I think it's very biblical to adopt, but that I wasn't engaged or emotionally involved yet, and until that occurred, I wasn't moving forward. My pastor shared with me that night that "adoption is the purest form of discipling." That moved me. Something within me pricked. I've seen all of the stories on TV of starving children in Africa. I've heard the stories of people that have adopted and their lives have been forever changed. However, I needed to come to grips with some social stigma regarding adopting a boy from Africa and I also had to come to grips with dropping $25k for a son.

And then the power storm hit. The next week, in my quite time on 1/28/12 (I have it notated in my Bible) I read Psalm 41. It brought me to my knees. 41:1"Blessed is he who has regard for the weak." That was it. There was the lightning bolt, the "two by four," the point of no return. I knew that the Lord was calling ME to something higher. Something loftier. Something incredible. Throw in James 1:27 " Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." All at once, I found myself on the pathway, following Jenn and trying (in vain) to catch up to her.

I walked up to her at church the next morning, knowing that the Lord was calling us to adopt, and just said "I'm in" and walked away. That was it. That was the crowning moment of my declaration of decision. "I'm in." Those words mean so much to me though. As a man, if you say you are "all in" that means you are "all in." Emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually. I was "all in" in this whole adoption thing. And then I heard an absolutely incredible message about a week later from Eric Lude, pastor at Ellerslie and it blew me away. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ&sns=fb (I sincerely hope that you just watched that short video clip. If you didn't, I'll give you another chance. Go watch the clip). See, my son is in Africa. He's over there in an orphanage. Not eating right. Not having adequate water. Not clothed properly. He's not being emotionally and spiritually strengthened. He's my son, and I will "CLAW THROUGH A WALL TO GO GET MY SON!" He is mine. The Lord has given him to me. To nourish. To encourage. To strengthen. To disciple...

We've been accepted at the different agencies that we are working through, so now it's just the waiting game to get matched. Will you pray for us that the Lord matches us with the perfect boy for us? (you don't get to pick anymore, you get "matched" which is fine with us.) We are willing to adopt a special needs boy, and we feel called to do so. Psalm 41 told us that. I miss my son. He's out there. Waiting. Wanting to call me daddy. And I'm here. Waiting. Wanting to call out his name: Son.

Letting go...

It's it funny how when God is trying to get you to understand something, He basically just shoves in your face.

Well, that's how He works with me sometimes when I just don't seem to be getting it. Everything that I've been reading lately and different scriptures have been speaking to my heart about one thing...

STUFF

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not an avid collector of junk and I in no way fit on that t.v. show about collecting junk to fill your house. Our house is neat and kept and I actually am always trying to get rid of clutter - most of that clutter being in my scrapbook / school room and in the kids' rooms. However, I also have a lot of just plain stuff. For example, in my craft / school room I have 2 containers of ribbon... every size, every color, every pattern imaginable. I had an idea at one point to make hair bows for my girls and I did... a couple of times. Now, it just sits in the closet. I am one of those people that at any point in the day I have 1000 ideas running through my head of stuff that I want to make. Only a few of those actually make it to execution.

Ok, back to my thought... The Lord has been teaching me lately to LET GO... let go of those things that I place above him - whether that means that I think about them more than I talk to my God or whether that means I work with them more than I meet with Him. My heart is changing. I need to let go of things that just aren't a big deal to me anymore. Now, I'm not advocating going out and getting rid of everything that you don't use but in my situation, I just wanted to do a little "cleaning up."

I also think about how much "stuff" we have as Americans. Do I really need 15 different hobbies to take up my time or could I be doing other things like raising awareness for different things, reading, studying, spending time with my family and friends, being in His PRESENCE!

I did a little clean out of my office and I gave away some of those things that I've been holding onto for a while. Not only was it freeing for me but it was a blessing to me to be able to give them to a sweet friend who I know will get good use out of it.

Did I go crazy and give away everything? No. Do I feel more free? Yes. Am I going to keep going in this same spirit? Yes.

I have a strong desire right now for Him and all of Him. I don't want anything to get in the way of my relationship with Him...

What are you holding onto? Is it a relationship, an activity, an attitude? I pray that you too would find freedom in letting go. I can promise you that letting go will lead to much more blessing than holding on.

Lord, continue to make yourself real to me. I pray that I wouldn't put anything in front of my relationship with You. I love you, Lord. Thank You for the lessons that you show me.