Locked up

As many of you know, I'm a consultant with the University of Illinois Medical Center - Chicago. I work for the laboratory outreach program (I'm based out of my home office here in Champaign). Our goal as a reference lab is to bring in new business and obtain new accounts (hospitals, dr's clinics, etc) that use other reference labs. We have around 500 accounts that send us specimens daily that they draw in house, but don't have the instrumentation to test the samples. We have an elaborate courier system that brings the samples to us, we run the tests, and then we send the lab reports back to each account. I oversee that infrastructure for all of our southern Illinois accounts (I have all of the accounts south of I-74 clear down to the tip of Illinois and I have Ohio). Many of my accounts are state-funded (ie. correctional facilities/prisons and mental institutions - yah, my clients are convicts and crazies...sometimes I don't know if I'm coming or going.)

I was visiting one of these accounts, Vandalia Correctional Center, yesterday. Their network printer was acting up, so I did some troubleshooting and decided to replace the printer. I did my normal song and dance while I was there, however it took me a little bit longer than normal, and as I was leaving, something that hasn't happened to me before occurred...

Now, let me give you a little bit of background regarding correctional institutions. They are fun to visit. I get a little excited every time I go in there. You never know what you will see or hear. And believe it or not, I personally have a harder time getting IN to a prison than I do getting OUT. Weird, I know. I guess they figure most people have no business going in, and once you're in, all the guards figure I have no business being in there (especially in a suit and tie), so they let me out, no questions asked. I no longer need an escort to take me to the healthcare in the prisons, since I now possess a regional state ID, which was a long and arduous process to go through (it took me 9 months to obtain one). So, past the main gate or admin building, I'm on my own. I prefer it this way, as I've waited 20-30 minutes before for my guard escort to show up, who is in no hurry...which is pretty much the mentality for everyone at these places. Sometimes I will visit 3 prisons in one day, so add 20 minutes waiting on a guard going in and going out, and I've added an hour or two to my already long day. It's worth the risk...

This brings me back to Vandalia correctional. I finished installing their new network printer, I boxed up everything and was walking out, when the dreaded occurred. Now, I have to tell you, that Vandalia CC is pretty big. It's quite a hike from the main gate to healthcare. Cold too. So, I was walking out, and low and behold, they had closed and locked the gate, which at this facility, is my 1/2 point! Normally this is always open, or in the past, I had my escort and he could just unlock it. As luck would have it, I looked around, and I didn't see a soul. No one was around. I even did the "wave the arms and whistle thing." Guess they've seen that one before, because no one noticed, or cared. I think they must have gone on lock down. I looked around, panicked and said, as Jesus is my witness, "Ok, let's see, how can I get out of here..." No kidding...and then I realized that this prison is decades old, and MANY, MANY other men have thought this exact same thought, the only difference between them and me was that I wore a suit and had a state ID.

Finally flagged down a guard, and he apologized for my inconvenience.